If a child is being guided by a teacher to learn certain things in a certain way and then someone comes along and says to the child- no you are doing wrong, but does not give explanation as to why, then why should the child listen to this person they do not know? If the choices that have led the child down the wrong path have been made by another, then who is it that is at fault?
The word of God says when a brother sins, you are to show him his error. That means to explain why it is wrong so they accept it and understand it. Then you are to instruct them on what is right, if they listen, then you have won them. However, if they do not listen, you are to take two or three witnesses with you and try again. The reason for this is because if the person erring does not believe you, then having others with you will help win their trust. If they still do not listen then you are supposed to bring them before the “congregation” and try yet again. If that does not work, then you are to cast them out.
Even though this is talking specifically regarding the physical church itself, the philosophy is the same. You try, then you take others and try and then you try yet again.
As to whether who is responsible for the error of the child, again I turn to the word of God. It states that not many should be teachers because the judgment will fall on them for making a little one go down the wrong path. The child is then to be instructed on what is good and right in the eyes of the heavenly Father.
Fear, manipulation and intimidation are NOT the way of the heavenly Father. God is always and has always been a guider, leader, and instructor. He convicts a person to turn from doing what is wrong, he does not condemn. He offers choice with love and guides with a gentle hand rather than making people afraid. To instruct a person means to explain to them what it is they are supposed to do in a language that they understand.
To demand a person to follow a certain way and to try to intimidate them and make them afraid of the choices they make would be to be like the Pharisees of yesterday – controlling and manipulative. Jesus went to the cross to set people free from that.
If you, by your actions, then cause the child to stumble, then you are just as wrong as the person who has led the child incorrectly. I do believe the word says that it is better to have a millstone hung around your neck and drown in the depth of the sea than to cause a child of God to stumble- especially if it causes such a distress that they turn their back on the promise of life.